Cereal Killer

Do you like cereal? I do. I like it a lot, especially when it's crunchy. With every crunch of that cereal it sounds like there's a construction site in my head. I have to turn up the volume of whatever I'm listening to or just pause it all together and enjoy the crunchy goodness! Ever fake your way through a conversation? Was it someone that doesn't speak your language? The person who never talks above a whisper? Was it that guy that talks like an auctioneer spouting off hundreds of words per minute?


I was on campus killing time between classes when I remembered I had some of my favourite cereal in my bag. I'm minding my business crunching away, working my way through the final pages of my sudoku book when a girl sits down next to me. She's babbling away about something or the other and all I could think was, 

"I wonder if she knows I'm not listening... Damn this is some good cereal, I wish I had a bigger ziplock... I wonder how they make cereal. I'd like to go to a cereal factory or whatever it's called. Cereal mill? Ah, whatever. Oh, God, she's still talking and I can't hear her but I don't want to stop eating what do I do? Remember 'Madagascar'? Just smile and wave, boys. Don't wave, you idiot, just nod and smile and stuff. Oh no, my cereal's almost gone... Wait, is she leaving? Say goodbye, don't be rude."

I had no idea what she was saying but I figured it wasn't anything important since she didn't really promt me for responses. Saturday afternoon I get a call from her...


Planner: Are you ready? I'm leaving home now.
Me: What?
Planner: Remember on Thursday you agreed to go shopping with me so I can get a dress for my brother's wedding...
Me: Uuhh... I did?
Planner: Yes... I remember because you had cereal and I asked you for some but you like didn't say anything
Me: OOOHH!!! Um... I have no idea what you were saying. I couldn't hear anything over my chewing the cereal, but I'll still come if you want. Just give me 30 minutes
Planner: You dissed me for cereal? Couldn't you stop eating?
Me: It was good cereal...

[silence]

In my defense it really was some good cereal! Not my fault she didn't check to see if I was listening. She's never asked me to go shopping again by the way... And as far as I know, she went shopping alone that day, for some reason she didn't want my company any more, hope she had fun.