That Doesn't Feel Right

Don't you hate it when strangers touch you? I do. Hell, sometimes I even hate it when people I know touch me. And what makes it worse when there's an unwanted touch: when they're clammy. I cannot fully describe how much I recoil if someone's clammy hands accidentally touch mine. I'm pretty particular about what I let touch me, and that friends, is not something I welcome.

So I'm in a clothing store and you know how you can stand on either side of some racks and sometimes there's a person standing opposite you looking through the same rack? Well I'm looking through shirts and some girl manages to reach for the same hanger I do and in a weird twist of fate I don't believe in our hands touch and my world stopped. I took a sharp breath, my eyes closed, my head turned to the left and my hands went up in an I surrender position all in one fluid motion; I couldn't help myself, I swear! Imagine a peeled cucumber just above room temperature that's soft and slightly wet... Not pleasant is it? She didn't take my reaction very well...

Clammy Hands: What?

Me: What about what?

Clammy Hands: Whatever.

I should have said nothing after this.

Me: Your hands are clammy.

Clammy Hands: I know... It happens to me sometimes

[awkward pause]

Me: Soaking your hands in tea every week can help, dries out the sweat glands

I think she thought I was messing with her because she walked away from me. Some people just don't appreciate good help these days! No really... tea helps that, so if any of you have clammy hands, give it a try. Met her again at the check-out but she moved to another line, bitch. When she paid for her stuff the cashier cringed and I thought: win! 


I wonder if she tried it...